february photo a day

this month I participated in the february photo a day challenge on instagram. originally I had planned to post my photos weekly, but I never did it. so I figured I would just share my favorites from this past month. it was a fun challenge and I enjoyed trying to come up with unique ways to meet each prompt (though I'm not saying all of my photos were unique...). maybe I'll do this again another month.

here's the original list:

here are some of my favorite photos...

2: words
8: sun

9: front door

10: self-portrait
14: heart

15: phone

27: something I ate


from the archives: day three: the anxiety of you

from a series I wrote in separation. 


day three: the anxiety of you

the anxiety of you
is enough
to keep me
in this constant measure,
the binding
of willingness
to do anything
and everything
to console
and imprison you,
this mind
and body
and consciousness
to give in
to the collective
of each and every
that tries to break us
there cannot be an end
to this place
to this time
to this completeness.


focus list

to be honest, I'm kind of not in the mood to write right now. I'm kind of tired and went to the gym this evening and have a weird headache. it's been a super slow and sullen day. but I know you're just *dying* to know what's on the list for this week, so here it goes...

so, as you can see, again I have repeated some things. I didn't get to read last week, so it's back on the list this week. I totally rocked going to the gym last week and went four times - but I'm keepin' it real and just setting the goal at three times for this week. for some reason going to yoga is still a challenge... maybe this week?? and this week I added a few little things the really need to get done - like calling direct loans to try to get my student loan payment lowered, and cleaning off my embarrassingly messy dining room table and desk. and hot damn, I want to know how much money I'm getting back from the IRS - I better not owe!!

oh, and I'm still going strong in granny land. my plan is to just keep making them out of the yarn I have until I run out and then I'll sew them all together to make a blanket. all I know is I love it and I'm having lots of fun!

I have a feeling that I'm going to get lots of my list done this week! keeping it positive!



I don't know why but it seems like all of the music I've been attracted to lately has been totally anti-love. I'm not particularly anti-love and I'm not having some weird relationship issues. shrug. your guess is as good as mine.

but seriously, have you heard the new jack white song?! it's freaking genius! I mean, he's a musical genius, so it only makes sense that the song is also genius. and I love him the way I loved trent reznor when I was in the tenth grade. even if he is kind of sceevy/creepy looking. but seriously, I've listened to this song like 457 times since yesterday.

I also heard this awesome of monsters and men song on the radio today. I've only listened to it a few times, but I'm already smitten with it. I already liked their other overplayed-on-the-radio song, so now I'm thinking I need to get the whole album. can't hurt.

I'm also including the gotye song I told you about last week... just because it's still freaking awesome!

so here's a little anti-love playlist for you. get ready to get sad. or angry. wooohooo! I loves me some sad and angry!


double digits

today is my oldest daughter's tenth... yes, tenth...birthday. I can't believe I have a child in the double-digits. like, seriously.

when I think of where I was ten years ago from right this minute, I am simultaneously amazed and amused. I was totally hopped up on demerol and being wheeled into an emergency c-section. and just the fact that I was having a baby is a feat in itself - I never, ever thought I would have kids. ever. ha, and now look at me!

but when I think about how awesome madhavi is, I am slightly humbled. as much as she drives me crazy and annoys the bee-jesus out of me, I couldnt' imagine my life without her. she has taught me so many things about myself - mostly things that I didn't want to learn but needed to. she is so smart, and talented, and creative, and just a beautiful spirit. happy happy birthday to my little old lady!


focus list

I'm quite happy. I accomplished all but one of my goals from last week - and actually surpassed one, which felt super good! this week's list is looking very similar, but I seem to be holding that pattern - like there are a few repeaters every week and then I throw in a new goal here and there. let's look...

* read one story from unaccustomed earth - check! this book is so good! I wish I had more time to read every day so I can just finish it already! back on the list for this week. this has been the item that seems to get neglected every week - let's see how it fairs.

* go to the gym at least once - um, triple check! yes, I ended up going three times this week.  I was very excited about that - although I wish I could space my visits out better. for example, I went tuesday, wednesday, and sunday. the space between wednesday and sunday felt huge, kind of like I lost my stamina. although, I've been feeling super crappy health wise, so I'm chalking up how hard it felt on sunday to that. I didn't go today only because I still feel yukkie and don't want to push myself to the point of getting worse. but madhavi has all week off of school, which means I don't have to rush home to go pick her up. so, in essence, I could potentially go to the gym every day this week. fingers crossed!

* keep on grannying it up - yes, I'm still in love with the grannies. and although I didn't crochet as much as I would have liked to this week, I still did. and I decided I'm going to just make a butt-load of squares and then sew them together. granny power!!

* figure out madhavi birthday party plan - check! and now I need to send out the invites, which pretty much needs to happen tomorrow. we're doing a very small, pretty much only friends from school roller skating party. she's very excited - especially since last year she kind of didn't have a party. holy cow, did I mention she's going to be ten?!

* go to one yoga class... ugh, wtf with not going to yoga?! I really want to go, but can't seem to line up my availability with the classes at the place I want to go. fingers crossed for this week - though I'm thinking it probably won't happen until as late as saturday night.

* check book balanced - done!

new ones for this week - keep it real on weight watchers. ugh, I'm feeling the struggle here. I wanted to be at a certain weight by my birthday, and I am happy that I actually accomplished that goal a week early. but we had a crazy weekend of eating and I've already used up all of my flex points for the week - which is bad because I still have three days before my weigh in this week. honestly, I'm just hoping I stayed the same. I'll be happy with that.

and lastly - this is my birthday week... yea, you heard me, week! ha! I'm just hoping I have a good one. I think at this point I'm officially a thirty-something lady. and yes, I find that slightly depressing. but you know what they say... one step closer to death. haha, how's that for being positive?


sorry kids

hey lads and lasses - sorry there's no vlog today. I kind of don't really have anything to talk about - though I know that usually doesn't stop me from making one. I guess I'm just kind of tired, and I'm already in my pj's with no make-up on (I never thought I would ever be the type of person to not want to be seen without make-up on...). so anywho, in lieu of the vlog, I thought I'd share a few fun videos I've come across over the past little while.

1. this is my new favorite song. I first heard about this song a few months ago from my favorite australian blog goodnight little spoon. so, I already know I'm like way behind in liking gotye - but seriously, even though this song is super depressing - it's also super good!

2. I really hope this poetic drama comes stateside, and when I say that I mean to nj.

3. I know this sounds mean, but I kind of don't care about the whole whitney houston thing. I mean, yes, it's sad. it's sad when anyone dies, but like I didn't know her. we weren't friends. so seeing stuff about her dying on tv every 30 seconds was kind of annoying. especially when there's soldiers dying in other countries in wars. or like when drunk drivers are smashing up cars and killing babies. that stuff just seems way more relevant. but, wait, anyway, I saw this tribute to whitney houston on fb via hellogiggles.

4. lastly, this is just funny because of the strange obsession with unicorns I now have...the one born of my tongue-in-cheek unicorn taxidermy hobby. jd and I laughed when we saw this and both agreed how awesome it would be if we had a room in our house like this one.

I promise a vlog next week!


he said, "because everyday is valentine's day"

about a month ago my husband and I agreed that we would do a hand-made gifts valentine's day this year. we were coming off a spend-a-lot holiday season, and it just seemed more frugal (and meaningful!) to do it handmade. about two weeks ago jd handed me a package and said, "because everyday is valentine's day." I just want you to know, that's the kind of awesome, thoughtful man I am married to. like seriously, just for no reason other than he's the bestest husband in the world did he randomly give me this gift.

so anyway, I opened it and this is what I found...

isn't it awesome? not only is the symbolism here touching, but it's just beautiful! and he made me look prettier and skinnier than I am in real life! haha, I know, I'm ridiculous to notice that. but he told me that he purposefully made us look like the comic book versions of ourselves. anywho, as I was admiring it we both simultaneously had the same idea - well actually, I thought it, but he said it (I didn't want to ask for anything else after this awesome present!) - that he should do a whole family series and make it like a family tree. and so a few days later the rest of our family manifest...

isn't he amazing? I love him so much.

I also love all of you, and today is valentine's day, so I thought it would be the perfect day to announce the winner of my loyal vlog viewer giveaway. if you didn't enter, it's either because a) you don't like starbucks (um, weird!) or b) you didn't watch this friday's vlog. that's a bummer for you!

and the winner is...

congratulations jaya subhadra! go get that coffee frapp you've been dreaming of! xoxoxo!

me and jaya su on a rickshaw...back in the day!