always remember, never forget

today's prompt: what do you never want to forget about yourself/your life right now?

in krishna consciousness there is a verse that says (my paraphrase) the most important thing in life is to always remember krishna and never forget him. it is simple enough to say, but exceedingly hard to do.

when I look at this prompt, I can only think of things unrelated to krishna. mostly I think of my family, which in a sense isn't unrelated to krishna, but some would call family a material attachment. I mean, I don't know, I guess. but I guess what I wish most of all is that I could look at my life right now, in a spiritual sense, and it would resemble my spiritual life in 2000ish - maybe a little less fanatical, but more like in the sadhana and sanga aspects. I've tried to get back to some semblance of that life, but it's hard. and the reality is that my life is so vastly different from back then. I don't know how to capture the sameness of the past in the difference of the now.

the more I look at my life now, the more I see things I want to forget instead of things I want to remember. the only thing that exists now that I would want to hold onto is the ever changingness of my children. madhavi is swiftly blossoming into a beautiful and even-more-talented-by-the-day young woman. gita is becoming more aware of the world and reality and learning, learning, learning and becoming who she will eventually be in the world. I love them, even when I can't stand to be around them. ha! (that's my humor, don't be offended by it!)

I pray that one day I'll be peaceful and satisfied with my life, whatever that will be.

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